The Adventures of DOC HAZZARD, the Bronze Titan

The Adventures of Doc Hazzard: The Bronze Titan

—Newly-Discovered & Never Before Published Exploits of the World’s Most Brazen Adventurer!—

by

Cainnech Roberson


WHO IS
Hazzard & Associates
Doc Hazzard

To the world at large, Doc Hazzard is a strange mysterious figure of glistening bronze skin and golden eyes. To his amazing Associates—the five greatest brains ever assembled in one group—and his fiery and feisty tagalong tomboy cousin Cat Hazzard—the Bronze Spitfire—he is a man of superhuman strength and protean genius, whose life is dedicated to the destruction of evil-doers. To his fans he is one of the greatest adventure heroes of all time, whose fantastic exploits are unequaled for hair-raising thrills, breathtaking escapes and bloodcurdling excitement.

Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear—the Bronze Titan rides the running boards again!


Animus Ex Machina

Trickery … Victory … Doc!

The louse plays “Beat the Clock!” In this rare first-person account, Doc Hazzard relates in his own words a newly-discovered and never-before published adventure. A midnight invasion of Doc’s 86th Floor HQ results in a senseless death, signaling the start of a high-stakes race against time that will require Doc to mount a solo assault on his own impregnable Yucatán Trading Company warehouse, which has been taken over by a vicious gang now holding his cousin Cat Hazzard hostage. Every second counts when opposing the half-man half-machine Tick-Tock Man!

Read it here!


—Brainstorm!—

A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Baste!

In a newly-discovered and never-before published adventure, the Bronze Titan and his Fraternal Five must brave the Brainstorm, the destroyer of minds that has already killed an entire platoon of American soldiers. Who or what is Gojira, the legendary Japanese demon in Samurai armor who controls this horrific weapon? Following a trail of madness and death, Hazzard & Associates will have to travel halfway around the world under the polar ice to the very shores of Japan itself before coming to grips not only with the demonic Gojira but also an unexpected third foe: the insidious mad doctor who created the Tick-Tock Man!

Read it here!


—Brainstorm!—
The Lost Chapter

What a Difference an Hour Can Make!

The controversial “Lost Chapter” of Brainstorm! discovered and restored by Peter Jairus Frigate in 1973 shines a light on what might literally be the darkest (and spiciest) chapter in the Doc Hazzard Saga. Can this story possibly be true or is it, as many maintain, an “April Fools’ Day” joke, if not an outright hoax? You, the reader, must decide for yourself!

**WARNING!** The content of Brainstorm! The Lost Chapter is most definitely NSFW! **WARNING!**

Read it here!


—A Beast Unknown—

If You Go Down to the Woods Today, You're Sure of a Big Surprise!

Cat Hazzard returns to her childhood home on Vancouver Island BC only to find it all but destroyed by the rampaging “Wild Man of the Woods” that the local Nootka tribes call Sésquac. Literally 10 feet tall and covered with hair, the nocturnal terror seems bent on wiping out everything that the Bronze Spitfire holds dear and, now that she's on the scene, immediately turns its baleful eyes toward her! With the Bronze Titan away at his Refuge of Seclusion, where even the Fraternal Five don’t know where he is or how to reach him, and assisted only by her hulking Hawaiian hapa haole “house girl” and diminutive Dominican-French dame d’atour bodyguards and companions—the notorious Troublesome Twosome—and a recently-met tall, dark and handsome stranger, can she defeat a monster and solve a mystery worthy of Doc Hazzard?

Read it here!


—The Manhattan Transfer—

Will Doc Help Make history … Or Become History?

Hazzard & Associates become targets for death across the world on the eve of the American victory over Japan. A U.S. Army bomber crashes into the Empire State Building in an attempt to destroy the Bronze Titan's Eightieth Floor headquarters. Meanwhile, a U.S. Navy cruiser on a secret mission goes down in the mid-Pacific, plunging one of the Associates into shark-infested waters miles from land. In the ensuing days, equally bizarre and lethal incidents across the globe nearly take the lives of the other four Associates. Could all of these disasters somehow be related a secret military project originally proposed and organized by … Doc Hazzard?

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Read it here!


Blitzstrahl!

Thunderbolts & Lightning … Very, Very Frightening!

As electrical genius Nikola Tesla lies dying in a New York hotel room, his final message is a warning to Doc Hazzard of horrific things to come as result of one of Tesla’s own inventions. Even as Tesla takes his last breath, his long-abandoned lab in Colorado is destroyed by lightning. The fiery destruction of the Tesla labs in New Jersey, Long Island and downtown Manhattan soon follow. Then the mysterious silver-clad giant known as Blitzstrahl begins a one-man blitzkrieg against America, leaving only a blazing Swastika at each horrific scene of destruction. Can the Bronze Titan and his Fraternal Five defeat an enemy who can literally hurl manmade thunderbolts rivaling anything found in nature?

Read it here!


—The Clap of Doom—

Physician, Heal Thyself! A Life-Threatening Thunderclap Headache!

The aptly-named “Clap of Doom” strikes without warning from out of a clear blue sky or in the dead of night, anywhere it chooses, making the sound of thunder as it comes and goes, destroying everything that it strikes like a combination of a ton of TNT and a Texas twister. Between the claps of eldritch thunder, strange inhuman visitors do as they please in places no one should be able breach: the gold vaults of Fort Knox in Kentucky, the Tower of London, the Forbidden City of Zijin Cheng in Peking, Der Berghof at Obersalzberg in Berchtesgaden, Castel Sant’Angelo in the Vatican City in Rome and even the 86th Floor stronghold of Hazzard & Associates. How can the Bronze Titan hope to prevail against an unstoppable force that even he cannot explain, which strikes anywhere it chooses and comes and goes at it pleases, and which seems to come out of nowhere and then vanishes without a clue as to how it comes and goes, much less from whence it comes or goes?

Read it here!


Proud Winner of the Prestigious
The Brotherhood of Bronze Seal of Approval
The Brotherhood of Bronze
Seal of Approval!


—Credits—

The Doc Hazzard, Hazzard & Associates, Yucatán Trading Company, Phoenix Foundation and Cat’s Meow custom logo graphics are copyright © 2011 by Cainnech Roberson, Bentham Bytes and its parent company Fandom Mouse, Inc. Special thanks to Paint.NET, without which these original graphics would not have been possible. All rights deserved reserved.

The Doc Hazzard Theme, composed for the Doc Hazzard Centennial Celebration, is copyright © 2001 by Lolita Ritmanis, Dynamic Music Partners & Time Warner. The original 1933 radio theme was adapted from “Ritt der Walküren” (“The Ride of the Valkyries”) from Die Walküre (The Valkyrie) copyright © 1851 by Wilhelm Richard Wagner, which fell into disfavor with when it became associated with Nazi Germany. Themes adapted from “Mars, The Bringer of WarThe Planets, Op. 32 copyright © 1914 by Gustav Theodore Holst, “Night on Bald Mountain” copyright © 1867 by Modest Petrovich Mussorgy and “Toccata & Fugue in D Minor” (BWV 565) attributed to Johann Sabastian Bach circa 1740 were used between 1936 and 1942, when the radio sponsors struck a deal to license the newly-introduced “Fanfare for the Common Man” copyright © 1942 by Aaron Copland, which became the musical theme most closely associated with Doc Hazzard for the remainder of the 20th Century. The theme for the animated motion picture is copyright© 2000 by Donald Quan & Alliance Atlantis Communications Inc. The theme for the animated TV series is copyright© 2001 by Charlie Brissette & Nickelodeon.

The “Who is …” back cover group portrait graphic is copyright © 2010 by J. G. Jones, DC Comics and its parent company DC Entertainment, Inc.

The “Who is …” logo graphic is copyright © 2011 by Cainnech Roberson, Bentham Bytes and its parent company Fandom Mouse, Inc. Special thanks to Keith “Kez” Wilson for his invaluable assistance in creating this custom graphic.

The “Who is …” back cover blurb text is copyright © 1964 by Bantam Books and its parent company Random House, Inc.

The Brotherhood of Bronze logo graphic is copyright © 1972 by Jim Steranko and Supergraphics. The bas-relief sculpted bronze realization of this logo shown here is copyright © 1993 by Bob Chapman and Graphitti Designs.

All copyrighted and trademarked characters, names and images featured on this site are copyrighted and trademarked by their various respective owners. The images displayed here have been used without the prior knowledge and consent or any authorization of the various parties to whom they legally belong, but in accordance with the “Fair Use” Doctrine, with no intent to infringe upon any copyright or trademark or the rights of any copyright or trademark holder.


All of the narrative content of this site has been authorized and approved by:

Hazzard & Associates

—Troubleshooters-at-Large—

Hazzard & Associates

350 Fifth Avenue, Suite 8000, New York City, N.Y.
—PEnnsylvania 6-3100 ext. 8000—
“Agam ius ad omnes et nullo iniuriam”


This site was made possible by financial support generously provided by the:

Yucatán Trading Company

—North River Pier 74—

Yucatán Trading Company

350 Twelfth Avenue, New York City, N.Y.
—LOngacre 3-4567—
“Qua patet orbis, quo Fata ferunt”


This site is graciously hosted and maintained by the highly-trained alumni of the:

Phoenix Foundation

—Adirondacks Wilderness Cure Cottages & Sanatorium—

Phoenix Foundation

7833 NY Route 30, P.O. Box 265, Paul Smith’s, N.Y.
—DAvenport 7-6297—
“De igne et cinis resurgam”


Promotional consideration for this site is provided by the proprietor and staff of:

Cat’s Meow®

—Health, Strength & Beauty Academy—

Cat’s Meow

2 Park Avenue, New York City, N.Y.
—MUrray Hill 3-0980—
“Making a Beeline Toward the Feline!”™


This work is copyright © 2011–2015 by Cainnech Roberson, all rights reserved.
Please don’t repost this document or make this document publicly accessible via FTP, mail server or archive site without explicit permission.
Permission is granted for one hard copy for personal use.


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Last Update: 15 October 2015